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02.06.04 - 8:43 p.m. ah, the politics of love. i am certainly a republican in this scene. brazen and forward and...nevermind, i dont know enough about politics to carry this one on. What i do know is that i am back to the place where kissing matters. I wish i wasnt as i find it just makes everything much much more difficult. jesus. im tired of talking about this. there is a guy in the lounge downstairs playing beatles cover songs. i am going to take a nap on the couch lounge. now he is playing rachmaninoff. nice. the piano is very noisy. the other day i was talking about the brain tumor that i most certainly have and i am still convinced. i keep switching words or consistently putting the wrong beginning letter in front of things. i wish there was a word for feeling all of the following at once: 1) hopeless 2) frustrated 3) confused 4) misunderstood 5) excited nonetheless might it be anxietous? i wish i knew how to spell. now he is playing the peanuts theme song. no matter how serious you try to make life, it evades you and then moons you and then drives off laughing. my brain feels like it is about to squeeze out of my head. i think i have been thinking non-stop today. time to rest my eyes. and then, beer. as it IS friday whether or not my heart is broken. (heehee...he is singing now and he has a very surprisingly deep voice, as if he should be an opera singer. i didnt expect that to come out at all. weird.) � 
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