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02.08.04 - 5:35 a.m. as it turns out, i am 15 years old again, doing all the same things and being in all of the same positions that i was in when i was 15. i hate being 15. tongiht at the bar, it was me, and my friends who are grown up and talking about whatever it is that grown ups talk about, and then it was me, and him, doing the things that 15 year olds do. i might as well have been invisible, and he was mean mean mean to invisible me. jesus. this has taken the worst turn in the history of all bad turns. i cant figure at all where it all started to go so bad. We were fine and fine and fine and fine and then all of a sudden, just terrible. he made me feel stupid about the things that i am and when he wasnt making me feel stupid, he was talking about other girls, and then, it was normal again, and then, terrible again. this is dumb, and if it was up to me, i would have nothing to do with it, but he is our friend, and so, he is everywhere that i am and we have to figure something out that isnt like this. God, how do people get so old and still so juvenile. There has to be something better than this. There has to be something better than tonight. � 
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