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03.24.03 - 8:26 p.m. today everything was spring. mom and i went shopping at marshalls and i bought impractical shoes to go with my impractical crooked hemmed dress. We ate at picadilly and my mom, as she is suddenly doing quite often, looked up at me and said "Im gonna miss you, kate" and how can i explain that that still surprises me and how can i explain to her that i feel like i have fooled her too. But i know that she is serious and i feel so lucky that she can tell me that. After that was middle school baseball and my brother who never sleeps coaching third base and enacting those complicated signs to batters who still sleep with nightlights. We had burgers and everything smelled like packed dirt and grass and blow pops, that sugary, earthy springtime smell. Im ready for it. I bought a cap sleeved black tee shirt that makes me wish for a tatoo. I wish i could think of something that meant a lot to me. I dont want to settle for just anything. Im a little burned and full and happy. � 
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