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02.15.03 - 2:18 p.m. so, on monday i have a gy-NO-cologist appointment. i KNOW there is nothing special about my vagina. i KNOW they see 10 a day, but still. God. Still. Im terrified and even more terrified by the papers i am supposed to have filled out by the time i get there. Its funny how sometimes the driest items of human obligation can turn into something so revealing about oneself. Por Ejemplo: Are you sexually active?: well? well. Well? no. I mean, i guess no. I mean, not REALLY. (i consider a prostitute...less sex than her. I consider other single 23 year olds...less sex than them...but i consider nuns...MORE sex than them. I try to define sex.)Am i sexually active? They should be more clear am i intercourse active? No. Have i had sex? I mean, i guess, yeah. But how do you answer that? I am dreading having to tell her OR him (yikes!) about tim. Yuk. Do you Smoke?: Well, no, and yes, not as a comittment. And there it is, i AM wishywashy. I can commit to neither the good nor the bad things in my life. I wonder if my other friends are like this? � 
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