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01.20.03 - 10:49 p.m. dammit. what did i do this weekend? Nothing. I was supposed to apply to sarah lawrence and oregon and instead i smoked pot and went shopping. What is wrong with me? Its monday night and now im getting to the point of beating myself up for not doing what i was supposed to on my super long weekend. dammit. The good news is that with my new purchase (CD skip DOCTOR) i saved my elliott smith cd, minus one song and that makes me happy, i guess that was one thing. I fear that i am tired of applying to schools. I am tired of the whole process...it used to really rejuvinate me and remind me that this is really what i want to do and now its like, Christ, 50 bucks, thats a lot of money...do i really want to live in upstate new york, i mean...really?? It turns out that i have a very short attention span as i am sure most 23 year old americans have...but in my case this thing that will dictate the next two years of my life gets tucked away in a sweater drawer. Yikes. Again, i blame all of this on the fact that ive been accepted to american and i would love to go there and so my real motivation to keep applying is lack. BUT...this is all ultimately allright as coldplay is this weekend and "glamour infatuated" jeff is letting me off early to get on the road.."I dont know why i should let you, what have you done nice for me?" things and things and things i wanted to say, but instead i smiled like i was supposed to and made him feel like the big man for saying yes. YAY COLDPLAY!! i am happy happy happy and cant wait for friday. Maybe thats my problem...im rushing this weekend like a kid before christmas. Oh well. I love elliott smith, i love amstel light, i love those chocolate covered peanut butter hearts that come out at valentines day. I have never had a valentine. I love my bed and windy days and my car and turkey sandwiches. Speaking of turkey sandwhiches, heres what i had to eat for saturday night munchies: An unbelievable amount of spaghetti noodles, maybe some chicken?? TWO bowls of berry cheerios and maybe a third a bag of guacamole chips. Good thing im not too recreational. Good night loves. I hate myself for being unproductive this weekend. Will you hate me if i apply to neither oregon or sarah lawrence because im lazy?? Be honest. klm � 
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