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02.18.03 - 7:21 p.m. dammit. I want a boyfriend, but only one that will stay underneath my bed until i need him, you know? I am well aware that i have no idea where i will be in 6 months and that now isnt a good time to be in a relationship...blahblahblah...but dammit. i mean, you know? In lieu of bitching more about my hormones heres a fabulous conversation: Jullibb: Katie? Katrinaleo: hi Jullibb: You miss flirting... Katrinaleo: yes, Katrinaleo: badly Katrinaleo: hold on im updating my journal Jullibb: with anyone in particular? Jullibb: or a particular situation? Katrinaleo: flirting? Katrinaleo: well, yes, it seems as if there are only married men around me Katrinaleo: and im through with that Katrinaleo: but married men flirt Jullibb: yeah, I know. Katrinaleo: and its unfair Jullibb: they do. And it's absolutely fruitless Katrinaleo: especially when there is no one else on which to take out my energy Katrinaleo: yes, fruitless Katrinaleo: exactly Jullibb: I do the same. Katrinaleo: you want to be like "cut it the fuck out because you can go home and get laid and i cant." Katrinaleo: i hate it Jullibb: but actually, they may be kinda thinking the same thing about us... Katrinaleo: well, i guess thats true Katrinaleo: but theirs is more of a sure bet Katrinaleo: especially in our particular situation Jullibb: yes. It is. Jullibb: you're right. Katrinaleo: and the only boys around me are grown up rock stars and they still want, like, groupies and someone to wipe their ass and clean their cut off black denim shorts Katrinaleo: dammit Jullibb: so you're getting fed up with that kind of boy as well... Katrinaleo: well, yes, but i want them to kiss me too Katrinaleo: so its a tossup Jullibb: I know. Katrinaleo: im like, grow up, change your pants and throw me agaisnt the wall Jullibb: But I (you?) don't want anything more than the kissing with those kinds. Katrinaleo: well, me too, thats the problem, i want one really great guy to foster a relationship with and one to fool around with Jullibb: me too! Katrinaleo: and then, im moving away of course Katrinaleo: so the fostering thing is out Jullibb: I think I would like a relationship though -- I haven't had that before. But I'm hopewfully moving away too. Katrinaleo: yay! Katrinaleo: yes, a realtionship would be nice Jullibb: I would have no idea how to have a friendl, fostered ting as well as fooling around -- with the same one guy. Katrinaleo: and its getting to the point where we cant really mess around anymore Jullibb: Something's wrong with me that I can't blend the two. Jullibb: it is! Jullibb: fooling around just fucks things up. Katrinaleo: i mean, we are getting sort of to the point where if we want to have several babies 5 years apart then we need to get on the stick Jullibb: and other people care about it too much. Katrinaleo: yes. Katrinaleo: fooling around is actually bad, youre right Jullibb: damn. Katrinaleo: ive never had one positive fooling around experience Jullibb: ever watch TLC? Birth week? I can't have a baby. Katrinaleo: oh yes, its terrifying Katrinaleo: but i mean, Jullibb: It's usually good for a while, then it's all fucked up. Katrinaleo: yes Katrinaleo: you start to get gooey Jullibb: And involves ninety other people. Katrinaleo: i do Katrinaleo: that too Katrinaleo: yes! Jullibb: or you don't, and he does. Katrinaleo: well, its usually the other way around with me Katrinaleo: its the whole quiet, naked thing Jullibb: or you realize that you're not in love with him (as he never was with you), and you feel like a slut for just fooling around and not putting in that extra non-physical part. Katrinaleo: yes. Katrinaleo: although Katrinaleo: thats what i want Jullibb: ... but not with Look at My Tie. Katrinaleo: no! Jullibb: let's hook up with Interpol. Katrinaleo: are you feeling gooey? Katrinaleo: oh please, oh please Katrinaleo: what if??:????? Jullibb: no -- I'm feeling the last scenario. Jullibb: And that 's what I felt first, then thought too much. Jullibb: You want to hook up with Interpol. Katrinaleo: i think that us having homemade teeshirts will separate from the rest of the floozys Jullibb: yes! Katrinaleo: i love them all Jullibb: and big hair! Katrinaleo: as will you Katrinaleo: yes! Katrinaleo: expansive! Katrinaleo: i cant wait!!! Jullibb: behemothic! Katrinaleo: gargantuan Katrinaleo: english majors on parade Jullibb: I can't wait either!!! Katrinaleo: that weekend will be fab Jullibb: but hey -- did I tell you that the corduroy kids will be there? Katrinaleo: which ones? Jullibb: let's not look for them. Katrinaleo: why? Katrinaleo: we will look great Katrinaleo: and our hair will be great Katrinaleo: and they can go fuck themselves Jullibb: Look At My Tie, Dirty, James and Josh and Anthony, some of the younger kids... Katrinaleo: wow Jullibb: that's true. Jullibb: we'll have fun and be fun. Jullibb: together. Katrinaleo: those johnnycomelatelys Jullibb: you and me... Katrinaleo: !!!!!!!!!! Katrinaleo: lets be in the front Jullibb: Kate, I feel like such a stronger person with you. Jullibb: let's!!! Katrinaleo: we will post ourselves Katrinaleo: im glad Katrinaleo: i feel like a magic person with you Jullibb: I think that we're good friends for each other because I get the feeling that neither of us sees any bad about the otehr. Jullibb: it's good to have people like that. Katrinaleo: like some part of me might be glowing if you looked carefully enough Jullibb: or a person. Jullibb: yes! Jullibb: and like I'm actually not a bad person. Katrinaleo: or all of the bad corresponds with our own bad Jullibb: true... Katrinaleo: and so it negates itself Jullibb: but it doesn't seem bad. Jullibb: yes, like that. Katrinaleo: no, it seems fun and original Jullibb: it seems cute and humanities. Katrinaleo: like the girl you wanted to be like in the 7th grade Jullibb: no, not like her... like the girl you wanted to be maybe freshman year at the Cellar. Katrinaleo: oh, yes, thats true Katrinaleo: i didnt like ANYONE in the 7th grade Katrinaleo: no one Katrinaleo: not a damn soul Katrinaleo: that sucked Jullibb: like the girl that all the boys are too shy to talk to but are all in love with. Katrinaleo: aw... Katrinaleo: i cant wait to see you! Jullibb: I know! Jullibb: I miss you! Katrinaleo: so you will be here fri night? Jullibb: I can't wait to see your house! Katrinaleo: i know! Jullibb: yes -- I'll need to get directions. Katrinaleo: ok. Katrinaleo: will you come after work on friday? Jullibb: it's in two weeks, yes? Jullibb: yes -- I'll leave from work. Jullibb: if that's okay. Katrinaleo: 2 weeks from this friday Jullibb: cool. Katrinaleo: i want it to be tomorrow Katrinaleo: or right now Jullibb: me too! Katrinaleo: but then we wouldnt have shirts Katrinaleo: and wed have to go topless Katrinaleo: which may work in our favor Jullibb: very true... Jullibb: we could wear paint. Jullibb: and feathers. � 
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