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01.17.03 - 9:41 p.m. God. You know, its just so amazing who gets tossed into our lives. It makes me want to pull everyone i know close to me and just, thank God. The best note of the week. The Best. God bless the author... Kate: Your emails always make me a little sad -- "mixing memory with desire" -- a reminder of my past life, and of the days when I had time to think and time to WONDER about my life, rather than always simply finding myself head-deep in the middle of it, near drowned, no time to look back or forward. Whenever I have TIME to read your emails, they make me sad ...and guilty...b/c I feel that I never get to respond to you, and when I do the response never feels adequate enough. I haven't had time to read your work or respond to you the way I would like, and for that I do SINCERELY want to apologize. You are such an inspiration for me -- and I do EXPECT to see your name on a published book sometime in the future -- hopefully THEN I will have time to READ IT!@#($*%)%&($)! Waker and Beckett have finally started sleeping through the night -- or at least until 4 or 5 am, and I made my FIRST excursion into the world of the MALL today with them and Whitman. I feel human again, a magic day. I never thought that I would crawl out from under the rock their birth dropped on me : I didn't sleep for weeks, gall bladder attacks and pains, a gall bladder operation, countless winter illnesses -- and now I've recovered. I've been writing little poems in my head -- about babies, of course, but hell, at least I've a few lines or two, instead of baby babble and Barbie talk. You crack me up -- you wonder if you are "too cynical/realistic to be a good writer"????? I think that is what it takes -- it truly isn't a cake walk, you know. And you are right to worry about finding a job out of school, and about those student loans (I'll be paying mine off for another 10 years...BUT I HAD A GREAT TIME earning the right to pay them back). YOu, my dear, are a writer. Face it...you can't stop. You might as well take all those journals and bits of paper and put them to good use. What other job will give you the opportunity to do that? FORGET THE MONEY worries. They will ALWAYS be around in life. Rod and I were talking last night, wondering why our sisters seem be living on EASY STREETS, but then, they don't have the multiple degrees we do, nor the happiness. Nor the intelligence. So, we don't have a $400,000 home, but they and the friends you know who are working right now will just pass you by again on their "long journey to the Middle" (from Cameron Crowe's ALMOST FAMOUS). What do you want? Enlightenment...or a 15 year mortgage and a peel-n-stick name-tag with the Junior League of ______________ (insert ANYTOWN)???? So proud to hear that you've been accepted to AMERICAN U. Great school! Kent Andersen, Instructor at BSC went there. He could give you some ins and outs I'm sure. Talk to him!!!! Let me know if you hear from the other schools; I'd liek to know where you plan to be. If you DO go to AMERICAN U, my parents live about 40 miles away in Virginia -- and they are really great. I could have them check up on you and let them be a contact for you if you need anything. They'd love you. Plus, I'd get to see you when I go home! Alway I'd love to go the amherst, and washington. This is a GREAT point in your life. Although I know you don''t feel it. Don't knock the hair salon -- a girl from my college wrote a book about working in a hair salon -- and it was published around the world. There's great material there. Use it. Glad to know that you are on the outs with the 35 yr old, x pot smoking music store owner. He was a plaything, an experiment. I had one myself. You'll find someone brilliant in his own regard, and mainstream enough to keep you balanced and "happy" (not such an "unfair word) and writing.... I'll TRY SO HARD To read your short story -- and hopefully I'll have time to comment!!! I'm AMAZED I've written this much. Better save my husband from the twins... he's been a saint to watch them for a few moments. Thanks for being such a trooper and sticking with me. I really do LOVE your writings and musings. They make me remember...even if they do make me a little sad... Now, GO TO SCHOOL and WRITE! Lisa � 
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