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07.01.02 - 8:42 p.m. ugh. im emotionally constipated. I wish there was exlax for the soul. I am tired of thinking and not getting anywhere. Ive made a decision and i dont feel good about it. I dont know if i would necessarily feel good about any decision that i could make and i dont think that the impending decision is really the problem. i dont, however, know what the problem is. I do know that all i really want to do is stay here and not have to worry about money and eat turkey sandwiches and the only people putting pressure on me to stay in birmingham are my friends. Why should i stay there? I doesnt really make any sense. The only reason it might be good is if i get a decent job and i could put off school, when i dont really want to put off school in the first place. I WANT to go to school. Instead im staying in birmingham and spending all the money that i make on rent and food and electricity. I know that most people do it this way, but the thing is, i dont have to. My parents arent going to help me with graduate school adn this is a way they can help. If, God Forbid, I get into no schools, then it might be better to be 10 times rejected in birmingham where i still have connections rather than in my old room in chattanooga. Its noisy here. But in a happening way and not in the absent way its noisy in birmingham. I dont know. � 
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