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08.07.08 - 6:52 p.m. had a real lost it moment today. i get to work and im not on the schedule, yesterday i get one of my classes taken away, today dan picks me up from the shift i was supposed to be scheduled for and tells me that he has some bad news and that i got a $100 ticket for expired plates, im sitting at an impossible intersection waiting to turn and i just lose it. I scream at the near top of my lungs. We drive around, get lost, drive to the police station to ask and the ticket people arent OF the police station. I see if dan wants to come over since i cant park in his neighborhood and he tells me that, no, he has a couple movies at home and some dinner and beer. So now im at home during my shift and im just so pissed. Im mad at him for...i dont know what. Im mad that he sees im in a bad mood and he wont buck up and stay with me. He drove my car all around today to run his various errands and now he cant even follow through. And the thing is, i dont even really want him here either. And i dont want to even be here. I just want to be absent from everything. Ive got plenty to do and its probably best that hes not here, but im mad anyway because now its my night off and he was so cold to me as he was getting out of the car and i just start crying as soon as i pull away from him. And its probably good. I havent had a good cry in quite sometime. Now i just feel whipped and i just want to crawl into a hole and disappear for about fifteen years. � 
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