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03.07.08 - 9:34 p.m. Im not sure what to say about tonight. On the one hand, it is VERY nice that it is raining and i can sleep on my own until i wake up. On the other hand, my boyfriend is in Oregon interviewing for a job he might get and a move he might make. Mostly i am amazed how life happens. This is probably the first friday night i have been alone since christmas, and no wonder we get so attached. I had planned to do yoga tonight, but i am pretty drunk. And his professor friends who are in town from Pennsylvania and Idaho and whoever knows where else, and i am responsible for handing off the keys because dan is across the country and now, after all the passing and dinner and waiting and buses, i am in my own home and it is almost 10. And this, apparantly, is what having a partner is all about. I decided on the bus ride to my house, that i am just going to let him have this one. I am going to let him be selfish and self oriented and self concerned, because i am sure i owe him. And i am not going to bring it up, and i am not making a big deal out of it, i am just going to let it go. Because, i guess after a year and a half it is time to give up a friday night passing off keys. Though the thing is, i KNOW he would bitch about it if he were in my shoes. Oh jesus, i would never hear the END of it--i would be doing return favors for him til the end of time! Maybe i will try, via positive reinforcement and example, to change him into the man i want him to be. Though, i remember a year ago, talking about his two friends as if i might as well be with them...And now, i guess i know better. I guess i trust myself a little more. Dan is far better possessed and good than these guys. And, honestly, i dont doubt what he is doing out there. This seems like something i would have never said before. Maybe i am trying to talk myself into trusting him, and maybe thats not altogether a bad idea. � 
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