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03.10.03 - 2:47 p.m. Christ! Could anything be worse that TWO rejection letters in the mail at the same time?? TWO! Arizona and Montana. Montana for chrissakes! Montana. And of course, the worst, the worst, i find the worst immediately and strap it to my chest. Why would i pick a profession where rejection will haunt me 90% of the time? But if i didnt get into montana there is no way in hell that ill get into michigan or columbia or washington. Thats like applying to harvard and then not getting into, like, Scranton College of Diesel Engine Repair. Fuck. And of course, mom is pleased as hell that she doesnt have to send her only daughter not ONLY out of the south but all the way across the nation. She hugged me and thanked arizona for saying no. And of course, i burst into tears immediately at the mailbox holding these two teeny envelopes that i KNOW hold bad news. Im crying and looking at them in my hand and crying. Their very official emblems in the left hand corner and my name, which seems small and inconsequential directly in the middle. They said some things that were supposed to make me feel better. 1 in 10 are accepted and so on. But one in ten arent exactly ridiculous odds, i mean, one in 10 is just like everything else. Its not surprising. Me and 9 other crying kids at their mailbox. And i fear they will start rolling in now. No after no. I do promise, however, to not wallow forever, but i do know i will start crying at work because, i do that, and underneath everything else i am seven years old. � 
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