|
|
11.05.02 - 9:56 p.m. Modifications in the work area, work duties, or recreational activities may be necessary. Some of the jobs associated with carpal tunnel syndrome include typing, use of vibrating tools, mine workers, and professional musicians. All ive got left is road construction and, of course, mine work... my wrists are swollen with carpal tunnel again. Like junior year of high school when i was preparing for julliard. So sore that i can hardly type which is seriously getting in the way of writing. It appears that my wrists might be the end of every professional endevour i may ever choose. I am wishing i had just had the surgery that i could never get bc it would interfere with practicing. My guitar rests in the hall now and i pass it everyday sometimes without a thought and sometimes the realization of that loss is breathtaking. How different my life might have been! In new york city instead of the sleepy methodist school i chose on purpose. I miss playing and everything else that goes with it. The ability to disappear into something for hours at a time...the freedom to lose yourself in your own hands and ears. I miss the long hours in hill in the middle of the night when i couldnt sleep, nothing but my guitar and i locked in the basement practice rooms and sometimes mr. pibb and sometimes eric posey who would inevitably steal me away to a late night grease pit yet always remained worlds more talented than i. Its hard to maintain that same concentration level with writing for some reason. My wrists stop me or the lack of anything else to say. Photography was a bit more oceanic in the sense that everything required such attention that hours may stretch by without any recognition bc that attention was so minute. I wonder if i will ever use these things again. Its amazing how many talents we sluff off...amazing I think i read somewhere that writers are always complaining about something...i guess i am starting early. Today mom asked me at what point i will start calling myself a writer...i tend to think that i will call myself a writer when people i dont know begin referring to me as one. Any thoughts?? I voted today...GO ME! I voted for some guy with the last name "Two Feathers..." simply bc i assumed he was indian and might offer a new perspective...this idea thoroughly eluded my brother who i think has no room to talk bc he never voted anyway, but he thought it was completely invalid...i gave him the finger and that seemed to be the end of that, but i guess it goes to show you that...well...that for some people being native american might just be good enough... are these journals boring now? I always walk away feeling like yall are yawning. i am. nothing very interesting is happening and therefore i will continue to lull you with news of my bourgening arthritis...K? � 
|