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04.08.02 - 9:06 a.m. i try to be good. I got home last night and went straight back to WalMart to buy potting soil for the white elephant johnathan bought me. WalMart doesnt sell cigarettes and this seemed overly annoying...as if this giant corporation who is closing down mom and pop stores all over america suddenly has the moral volition to refrain from selling things that are bad for people. I asked a wildly impolite employee where the purse size lotions were...a simple question i thought, she pointed me in the general vicinity of the pet supplies and said something about aisle 17. Well, there was nothing on aisle 17 and im angry by now and not smiling and people are walking on the wrong side of the walkways and i just need to stop and crawl into the bottom of my cart and be angry, but theres no time to stop or let your gaurd down at WalMart. I buy cigarettes on the way home and smoke one down to burned fingertips in my rolled up window car. I didnt take the time to start the engine or crack the window, it was just me in the cream blue jazz of my camry feeling slowly better and thinking about nothing. I potted my plant with no shoes and only a little light and a cigarette between my lips ashes dropping on my jeans and into the soil. Robin stood above me for awhile and said something about watering them. I think i was rude and unforgiving. Janis Joplin screamed from my window where rob had started my rock out tape and i started my third cigarette from the second with dirty fingers and soil in my hair. Today is monday and it will rain and my car is in the open parking lot. I miss school. � 
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