|
|
12.22.01 - 10:18 a.m. yay!! finally i had a for real, unequivocable christmas moment. It all started with lugging the majority of my family's presents, including but not limited to the ridiculous amount of books i procured for geeky brother number one and a serious power tool/dangerous weapon for the other one, some air freshener, a pair of leather gloves and one bulky black and white for mom. I plopped them all down on the couch and stared and stared...i knida twisted some too, maybe put my too short hair in a ponytail, i clipped my fingernails (sorry lainy) anything but sitting down to wrap more presents, which is what i do for 6 hours straight at my mafia job. Anyway, i started wrapping with much chagrin and some under the breath profanities and lo and behold i found that i have gleaned some real and most likely profitable wrapping skills since my job with uncle tony. I whipped through those bitches in no time flat and it was only 8. Oh glorious day. I took a bath...one of those baths where you start to get in and your feet start stinging and you have to make that split second decision on whether or not to get out and cry becuase its just that hot. I stayed and sunk up to my ears in water that made me see headlines: "girl burns herself alive in own bathtub." And then, the endorphines come racing in with their syringes ready and then...ah...sweet calm. I read and washed between my toes. I washed my stubborn hair with a bar of soap and felt like a deep sea fisherman. My middle brother came over to visit with his wife and sweet jolie who is the proud owner of one new trick. We laid her on a blanket in the living room, her chubby arms and legs stuffed into a flannel sleeper and watched her roll over. There was cheering and videocameras and beer (not for her), and she smiled and smiled, like "how in the hell did i get over here?" Shes coming along so nicely and she looks just like alex. I think she will have blue eyes and dark hair and drive all the boys mad, but she wont care. She'll love the war like alex and she'll be good at math like ashley and she'll have fingers like mine, which she already has, little tiny versions of my own hands. Anyway, to make an increasingly long story short. There was much gazing at the tree and gurgles from rolling over jolie and frankie on the radio and a fire and the startings of presents under the tree and everybody laughing and i realized that i wasnt giving enough time to the loving christmas fund. Its difficult remembering how to love this time. But i think its just about relaxing, if thats possible, and using your time wisely, thoughtfully and engagingly. Making yourself present on the plane that youve been given, which i havent been doing. Ive been the absent present to get postmodern on you. The absent center. Speaking of postmodernism. Apologies to every lovely one of you who have been trying to reach me on my cell phone. I keep it in my purse and you all know how wonderful i am about keeping up with purses. So it may be that youre ringing away in the trunk of my car, or under the kitchen table, or in the bathroom. If you cant get me then please call me at home, the chances are good that i am there and not within range of the wildly ringing purse. I will do my best to be better about it, i mean since i am paying a ridiculous amount of money for it. � 
|