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12.21.01 - 3:46 p.m. i had a short and wicked uncomfortable conversation with anoop last night. After all of the angst and painful process of wrapping him up and putting him in the back of my closet, he im's me and proceeds to immediately confirm that he loves me, misses me and finds that he is brilliantly lucky to have me in his life, all in a span of three equally sparse sentences. There was no warm up...no slow or sweet realization of friendship. Nothing but three burst out lines that sounded like a quick renewal of vows, like a reminder, to both of us. Ive done it too...that moment when you realize its been months since youve spoken to someone so you email them and promise them that thoughts are sent their way, and hugs, and missing them, regardless of whether or not its true. I was hard on him, but not terrible. I politely thanked him for his thought and brought up the fact that neither of us have spoken in months and that we are quickly nearing that stage where too much has happened to catch up on. Only i left out the second part. It would have required much more thought than i was able to go into. I told him that our pride was still a wall that i couldnt crawl over, that i was tired of it. He said he didnt understand. and maybe he didnt. Maybe i am the only one that understands that i cant keep expending energy on dead end cases. OR mayeb its just that our expectations are different. In any case...its hurting and difficult. wow...so many customers out of nowhere � 
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