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03.26.02 - 12:46 a.m. what a lovely day. I knew from the beginning it would be, a surprise corporate free day. Nothing but comet and blur and jeff buckley and open windows and marigolds. Mama and alex and ashley and little jolie leone are visiting tomorrow and ill take another day off to buy more flowers and vacuum and wash dishes and find all the right music. It will be nice to fit into a recognizable fold again. To hold jolie and watch her play peekaboo. To rest my head on dependable alex's shoulder and listen to ashley and mom talk. It will be so nice to ease into this person that i remember instead of meeting myself for the first time everytime i cathc my reflection. my downstairs neighbor and i had a day together. dirt under our nails and down our necks. We tilled soil and swept up cigarette butts. We zigzagged orange and yellow and red marigolds into the broken cement planters that line our porch and replaced our porch lights. We didnt talk too much and still wont but we worked hard and unplanned for several hours together, and it was a nice feeling to watch the curve of his back leaning into a shovel and feel the three oclock sun that i miss everyday on my shoulders again. katphish found me today. hungover tim sat on his porch in scrubs and no shirt and katphish threw one long snouted glance back at him before taking a few hesitant steps towards me. I met him halfway and rested my nose against the cool of his like we used to do and i know he remembered me after all this time. He took more steps towards me and after some baby talk and tough pats on his back he was in my yard highstepping over torn up weeds and rolling in fresh dirt. I said hello to tim i think and he was overly rude and unwilling, i was thankful that katphish didnt sense his pride and his anger and his fear. I was civil but undemonstrative, he was a nonentity, a neighbor i had never met, and the day went on that way, his afternoon spent shirtless and smoking and mine dirty and warm and katphish loping his way back and forth across the chasm weve made between the two of us. � 
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